I hate snoring. Like reallyyyy hate snoring. I mean, take how much you hate snoring and multiply by ten and that’s still not even close to how much I hate snoring. Praise Jesus my husband doesn’t do it often. On the off chance he does, it takes all of about 5 seconds for me to shove him or plug his nose to make him stop. But, last night, I lovedddd snoring. Let me explain.
I was able to cuddle my 21 month old toddler for the first time in who knows how long. He woke up several times last night, screaming for “mommyyy!” This never, ever happens. So I kind of jumped at the opportunity to go rescue him. As soon as I walked in, he reached up for me with open arms. I swear no sooner than I picked him up did he fall back asleep. I could have easily laid him back in the crib and walked out. But, instead I decided to rock my sweet baby boy. I will be the absolute first to admit that I don’t think I rocked or cuddled my babe enough. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? But, it’s true. I was so so adamant about having a great sleeper, that I never really rocked him. I never took advantage of cuddling him enough when he would actually allow it. I never really let him sleep in people’s arms. Because I didn’t want him to become trained to onlyyy sleep in people’s arms. I wanted a baby that would sleep anywhere, and go down without any issues. I didn’t want to be forced to rock him. But, what I didn’t realize at the time was that would mean I couldn’t just choose to rock him when I wanted.
Now that he is getting older, and definitely entering the demon possessed terrible twos, it would be a cold day in hell before he would let me actually rock and cuddle him. So, when I actually had the opportunity to do it last night, I jumped on it. And I am soo glad I did. I didn’t realize how much I missed the sound of a baby heavily breathing and snoring. It was right in my ear, and it was magical. It might have been 1am, but all I could do was smile and relish in the warmth of my babe. It was in that moment that I realized how much Noah still needs and loves me. During moments of epic tantrums and feeling like he hates me for not giving him a sucker, or for wiping snot 24/7, or saying “no” all day long, this is exactly what I needed.
I always say “time goes by too quickly”, but damn it’s true. Wasn’t he just a baby that loved to be cuddled? I blinked and here we are. I hope that whenever we have another child I will learn to relax a bit, and spoil a second baby with more cuddles, more rocking and lots of sleeping in my arms. Because now I know just how fast that precious time goes. For now, I hope I remember these feelings later today when my kid is being a total shit head for not sleeping well.
I just have to keep reminding myself…The days are long, but the years are way too short…